newsflash

 

 

 

 

During Mrs Petrie’s assembly on Thursday, Mrs Hood arrived unexpectedly with some urgent updates for children that she had just been advised of by our Community Police Officer, Sheila McWilliams.

  • There had been a sighting of what a witness has described as a ‘silvery white unicorn with bejewelled hooves and a golden horn’ at Whickham Stables. The creature appeared to have evicted the rightful occupant of a stable – a horse named Dapple Grey – so that it could have a nap and a bite to eat!  On being approached by the stable-hand, a lady named Suzie Wells, it was reported that the unicorn simply disappeared leaving nothing but a trace of silvery horseshoe prints behind.
  • Passengers on Easyjet’s Thursday morning departure to Malaga were severely delayed at Newcastle Airport after air-traffic controllers were left perplexed by an ‘unidentified flying object’ which bought their radar-systems to a shuddering halt. Aerial photographs (taken by the pilot of a light-aircraft already airborne and attempting to land on the runway) have revealed that the object was, indeed, a flying-horse!
  • Firemen from Swalwell Fire Station were called to extinguish a sizeable fire at Sunniside Park on Wednesday evening. The fire, which had taken hold near some trees, was said to have been caused by a fire-breathing dragon which was seen by several dog-walkers joggers at the park at around 9.30pm.  These witnesses described the dragon as having a tail estimated to be as much as 10 metres long, with swamp-green scaly skin, long-eyelashes and sharp talons.  What’s more, the dragon reportedly looked as if it had lost some of its enormous teeth.

Less newsworthy, perhaps, but clearly very important to Mrs Hood, was her report of what she described as a ‘tea-party’ in her office, no less, during the night!  She reported having arrived at school to find the plastic tea-set that is usually used in nursery spread across her meeting table, together with the remnants of a cold pot of tea.  Most upsettingly for Mrs Hood, imps and pixies had helped themselves to her shortbread biscuits that she keeps for special occasions – leaving nothing but crumbs!

Could things really get any stranger?

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